One Old Man’s Story: “Why I’m Not Religious” January 1, 2007
An excerpt from a story I shared on a thread on Yeshivat MySpace:
A particular family I am very close with in Brooklyn lived next door to this old non-frum lady and her husband (who passed away, lving her alone in the house eventually). They once tried to reach out to this lady and her husband. The husband tells the story of why he’s not frum.
Once he tried to go to Yom Kippur when he was little. He was very proud of himself, having gotten all ready for shul by himself after school. He had on a dress shirt and tie &c… but no jacket or hat.
The gabbai told him that he could not daven in the shul as he was not dressed appropriately, and his father, seeing the gabbai about to throw his son out, goes to his son and says, “Are you giving the gabbai trouble? Go home and put on some proper clothes!”
His heart sank, and until the day he died, he did not keep one Shabbos or go into a shul again for a high holiday.
Do gabbaim at shuls like that REALLY think they are doing k’lal Yisra’el a service by requiring a DRESS CODE to talk to G-d? And, we know, things like jackets and hats &c are chumros, whereas prayer is a MITZVA and you’re not supposed to stop Jews from DOING MITZVOS! (isn’t that supposed to be basic to 99.9% of Jews?)
Just had to share that — not even necessarily as a rant, I just thought that this particular man’s story should be out there. If it even impacts one person’s decision, then this story has done a service, and hopefully in the merit of someone else not being turned away from prayer, his soul should get hooked up in the Next World.
It is important to remember these things…we can’t keep ostracizing people.
Sad story. And too common. And even more sad. Anyone with a brain knows that anyone attenting a Blach Hat Shul will eventually feel inspired to buy himself a black hat. And in the extreme case where it does not occur, does it matter if you weat your black in your heart instead?