Blatant Anti-Charedi Prejudice: “Outreach to the Orthodox” December 18, 2006

I couldn’t help but take note of this.

I found this particular blog I found to be one of the most singularly offensive pieces of writing in the Jewish blogosphere, when examined in its true context. The blogger “Conservative Apikoris” in his piece entitled “Live Frei Or Die — Kiruv to the Orthodox” (Live Secular or Die — Outreach to the Orthodox), gives us a glimpse into some of the anti-charedi (Torahphobic?) mindset:

If you didn’t know, I have a shining vision of a new form of non-tribal secular-humanist Judaism that will transcend the narrow limits of the current “Abrahamitic” faiths (i.e Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) and ensure the universal spread of Torah without the narrow-minded bigotry and violence that has been an all too often side-effect so far.

But I’m not here to discuss that grand high-level vision. I’m posting about smaller practical steps to set it in motion.

I would love to be able to dismiss this as one beautifully designed ball of sarcasm, and enjoy a nice grin and move on. But let’s go further:

What started this was a recent post by DovBear, who was channeling a post by Rabi Yaakov Horowitz concerning “at-risk teens” in the black-hatter Orthodox community. It seems that there is a growing amount of dissatisfaction with the black-hatter lifestyle, a lifestyle that is circumscribed by their ideology and thus capable of change only with the greatest of difficulty.

Chevrei, this could be the start of the greatest defections from Orthodox Judaism that k’lal Yisrael has seen since the days of my grandparents, when millions of Jews were finally emancipated from Czarist oppression, and realized that a good deal of that consisted of oppression by the Orthodox establishment in the Old Country. These defections can be an opportunity to build a new Jewish community based on the principles of “Torah v’sekoolar hoomaneezm,” but we may lose that chance if the defectors leave the Jewish fold so fast that they become totally secular, or even, (God Forbid) become Christian. Or Mormon. Or Buddhist. We must ensure that defectors from Orthodox remain religiously Jewish, as participants on one of the non-Orthodox Jewish movements.

Misrepresentations of European history aside, I’m going to restrain my desire to use expletives to explain one thing: this is almost sadistic, because these things are not taking place in a vacuum.

Often, the Orthodox teen who goes “off the derech” is a victim of abuse, either at the hands of religious parents or of an authority figure. The teen then projects their feelings of hatred and pain first onto “the religious establishment” which allowed their abuse to happen, and then to the Torah, Orthodox Judaism, or chas v’shalom even G-d Himself.

The Orthodox flipside to this is far more humane. Instead of reaching out to the broken soul with “screw those guys, come to our Temple”, the Orthodox therapist/counselor/rabbi is attempting to walk with the teen through a road of pain to eventually get to a point of reconiciliation and self-acceptance. Were there an en masse questioning of theological principles, this would be one thing; but we are dealing here, often, with results of misdirected actions or abuse.

A parent screaming expletives to High Heaven over (gasp!) a striped shirt, a yarmulke whose radius was too small, or a hiked-up skirt which comes now only 3.5″ below the knee — such a parent will undoubtedly leave scars on their adolescent. Acknolwedgement of this as wrong and then using that as a vehicle to help the child develop self-esteem is a far more palatable option then saying “you’re right, they’re all screwed up — be Conservative!”.

To do such leaves a scarred adult whose initial pain has now hardened into coldness and destroyed family ties at best, or at worst into anti-charedi prejudice which could cause them to abuse their own children if (when?) they become ba’alei teshuva and begin taking on observance.

I don’t know if Mr. C. A. was trying to be funny, or actively proceeding on a crusade to demolish Orthodoxy. Whichever, his comments — in light of kids who die of overdoses for want of parental attention or of last year’s commission of suicide by a yeshiva student — are quite callous.

Those of us who try to keep the laws of the Torah — yeah, we’re Jews too.